Case Study No. 3

Mrs T had a very unhappy and disruptive childhood, and has been determined to be an excellent parent herself.    She is devoted to her family and provides much love and support.  Although they are now adults she still finds that she is cooking, washing and ironing for them whilst working full time with her husband in the family run business.  She acknowledges that she takes on too much and is unable to slow down; she crams far too much into one day.

Mrs T suffers from insomnia and hot flushes.  She is conscious that she looks tired and aged.    She is also aware that she suffers from what I call ‘volcano syndrome’.  Mrs T is very placid, she allows people to put upon her, or upset her, without responding.  Gradually her emotions build each time these incidents occur until she eventually erupts uncontrollably.  The trigger could be something quite minor.
If she had dealt with each issue at the time, politely informing the person of her annoyance or hurt, she would not explode so aggressively.

Mrs T agreed to be a case study for SEERCHI Self-Help Therapy and here are her early reactions:

Monday 14th August

Today I composted 1948 to 1958. 

Monday 11th September

I have noticed that I am remembering snippets of information from the years I have composted that I now see with a different perspective.  I am able to understand why my childhood was so miserable.  For the first time ever I am able to acknowledge that I am not to blame for this.  My upbringing had been less than satisfactory due to my mother’s inability to parent.  I don’t apportion blame on her as I also understand now that she didn’t know how to be a parent as she herself had no role model.

I am now able to see that those who sent me off to boarding school did so to protect me.  For so many years I had thought it was punishment. 

I have finally plucked up the courage to tell the family that I am planning my retirement in order to go travelling, something I have always wanted to do.

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